But this has been another blissful week, so I don't really have room to complain. I love having Keith home. The kids love it too. It's so good to have extended time together.
Rilla has been singing more lately, and it is blessing me so much. Usually it is some kind of compilation like "amen hallelujah Mommy Daddy amen holy God," sung softly to herself in her bed or while putting her stuffed animals and dolls to sleep. Today, though, she belted out most of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and it completely surprised me. I don't think we've sung it in quite a while, but she knew nearly all of the words! Then she followed it up with singing the alphabet several times, each time missing just a few letters. It's truly astonishing to me how good she is at repeating anything and everything now. Every day there are new words that she uses in context that completely blow me away. Of course I can never remember them at the end of the day when I sit down to write in her journal, though. Ottoman and nutmeg come to mind from today, although I know there were better examples.
There is one phrase that she has picked up and repeated several times now that I really have to correct myself from saying anymore, and that one is "holy cow." Ugh, why do I say that? It's a dumb expression anyway, and to hear it on the lips of my toddler is humiliating. Especially when she picks up a prayer book and starts reciting "holy cow." Oh shoot. I mean, oh, oops. (Because "shoot" is another word she has said a few times.) I mean, like she really needs her sweet little faith to get "cow" mixed up with "God." Isn't it, um, great how children mirror back to you the slips in your life that you didn't even realize you were making? And how that's what makes you realize how bad of an habit it is to be using the phrase "holy cow" in everyday context anyway?
There are days when I find it so exhausting to be constantly on display to my children. Why can't they just pick out my good habits and mimic those ones? I so desperately want them to take on the good and fruitful aspects of my character and to completely bypass the other ones. But I know they won't. That's why I think motherhood is the most challenging job ever, because it means truly walking the walk and talking the talk and living a godly life in every.single.moment so that the little eyes and ears around me will be able to follow me as I follow Christ. And of course, being that kind of model means that I have to actually be following Christ. You know?
I've been considering whether or not to share my growth goals for 2011, and for some reason I just think that I need to not share them here. But I want to share the verses that are on my heart right now, the ones that I have posted alongside this year's goals. The first one is the one that is really on my mind and heart right now and that I am finding applicable in just about everything.
I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.
Since we have these promises, dear friends,
let us purify ourselves from everything
that contaminates body and spirit,
perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
1 Corinthians 6:18 & 7:1
2 Timothy 1:7, 2:15, 2:24, & 4:2
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power,
of love and of self-discipline.
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved,
a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel;
instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season;
correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction.
Gotta go. Did I mention that both kids are teething right now???
Jamie, thank you for yet another post that has been a real encouragement and call to me to go higher...to go deeper. It IS hard to be "on display" all the time. Someone once brushed that sentiment off in conversation with me, saying some variation of, "Well it doesn't matter now, because they're little kids...wait until they're teenagers and then you really have to tow the line or they'll call you on it!" Um...if we wait until they are teenagers to focus on reflecting the Lord into their lives and demonstrating to them, daily, the love and patience and graciousness of their Lord...how can we then expect them to honor and love that same Lord??
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, it is my greatest struggle, trying to walk it out. It forces me to face the areas where I am just pretending to be holy...and there are so, so many of those that sometimes my soul becomes so discouraged it doesn't seem worth the battle.
So thank you for this challenge and call to genuine, life changing holiness that our children can trust, and I will reflect it back to you -- let us choose, minute by minute, in the hardest of the day-to-day moments, to perfect holiness out of reverence to God, and to walk it out before our children with great patience and careful instruction.