playing midwife and reflecting on pregnancy

One of Priscilla's favorite games lately is playing that she is the midwife and that I am the pregnant mommy getting a check-up. The birth center and midwifery practice through which we have done our pregnancy care is now quite familiar to her, and as we go to get my checkup every few weeks, she is now becoming an expert at imitating the midwives.

First she has me lie down on the bed. This might be my favorite part, and it might also be why we play this game so often, as she can pretty much always convince me to play along! Then she measures my belly, checks the position of the baby, and gives me nutritional counsel. I ask her questions about how big she thinks the baby is, how long she thinks he will be in there for, and how big I am measuring. The answers are always quite interesting and informative. "Twenty-eight" is a pretty common response to most of my queries.

At 36 weeks pregnant now, I seem to be more aware every day that birth is just around the corner. I'm not sure if I'm more shocked at how quickly the time is going past or if I'm more just wishing it would go even faster. I haven't been terribly uncomfortable in the third trimester with my other pregnancies but this one feels quite a lot more awkward. It's just so hard to hold my sweet children who still want to be rocked and held and read to, and who I miss rocking and holding and reading to (in any semblance of comfort, that is) but for whom I seem to have so little patience. And I'm so tired of losing my breath just from bending down to pick a few things up. I guess you could say that I'm experiencing that lovely mix of emotions that women have toward the end of pregnancy... longing mixed with apprehension, enthusiasm mixed with exhaustion. There are a few dozen projects which I am longing to finish, and yet at the same time I kind of just wish I could hibernate through the next four weeks and then get this all over with.

But that's not to say that I'm not enjoying this. I am. I love feeling this little life moving inside of me. I love the familiarity of his feet in those certain favorite places on my side. Sometimes I can nearly grab half of his leg with my hand, and it's completely thrilling to think of holding him so soon. Priscilla and Abraham both delight in touching our little boy and in talking to him. And of course Keith is ever beaming with happiness about this little son. There is a lot of waiting and uncertainty and preparation and tiredness in this season, but it is a good season. It has been so lovely to have Keith home with us for this last month, partaking in the days together and making them so much easier for me, playing with the children and getting to be a full-time father to them. It has been so refreshing for all of us to have lots and lots of downtime together to play and imagine and read and sing and dance and sleep and talk. I think it is going to make the transition to having three children be much easier than it would have been if we had not had this sweet, restful, extended downtime together.