servant for life

A few years ago, I went through a time in which I wasn't sure whether I wanted to keep following God. Not that I didn't believe in Him, but I really didn't like what was going on in my life and I just wasn't sure if I wanted to keep walking with Him. I took a bit of time to count the cost before deciding that absolutely, God is worth following to the end of my days. "Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him," as Job said. Similarly, I was wrestling with how much work it is to have a good marriage and whether it was worth all the effort. In that too, I counted the cost and decided Keith and our marriage are worth all I have to give.

After wrestling this out before the Lord, I made a vow to Him that I would pierce my ears as a symbol of my lifelong commitments to Christ and to Keith. Exodus 21:5-6 says this: "But if the servant declares, 'I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,' then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life.'" In other words, it was a practice that if a slave freed after seven years of service chose to continue to yoke himself to the master who had set him free, the master would pierce the slave's ear as a symbol of that commitment. 

While we were in Africa, I preached a sermon about being slaves to the one whom we obey, whether to the sin nature or to the Lord. I don't know if it's stuck with my audience as long as it's stuck with me, but those words from Romans are still fresh in my mind. I choose to obey Christ and be His slave, for I am not my own; I am bought at a price. When I was going through the aforementioned time of wrestling, it had been a bit more than seven years since I'd first come to know the Lord and a bit less than seven years since I'd first been committed to Keith. It seemed fitting to me that I pierce my ears, not as one forced to obey Christ or love Keith but as one who was free to choose to do so.

Ironically, though, I have neglected to fulfill my vow to God for more than two years now. Insert lots of excuses here; I just didn't do it. And boy, has it rankled. I think it may also have marked the start of quite a few "small" areas in which I have not obeyed the Holy Spirit's promptings.

I ended up telling a friend about all of this. I'd already been considering piercing my ears on my birthday, but when she suggested the same thing, it finally gave me the kick I needed to follow through with this. So I did, today. And perhaps going to the teeny-bopper store and sitting in the chair with the teddy bear and having a nice sterile something poked through my ears, which are now studded with little fake diamond things, is not precisely what the Old Testament slaves might have done. But for me, it was about obedience to following through on this vow I made, and it is a relief to have done it. Finally.